Shanalysis is written by Shannon Bailey

The past week has brought us rantings and ravings over the budget fight from the rightwingnutosphere  and I can't take the screaming anymore!  Between bat-shit crazy Michele Bachman from Minnesota encouraging her constituents to get "armed and dangerous" about energy policy and calling for an orderly revolution to little bitch Eric Cantor skipping the President's presser for a Britney Spears' concert  but cutting into Obama's town hall to not release the Rethug non-budget with no numbers that will cut taxes on the wealthy (surprise!), cut spending, but grow jobs (non-specifically), it has been action packed.

There have been a lot of labels and words being tossed around and so far, I don't think that people understand what they are saying when they call Obama a socialist or dictator.  I think it is high time to break out the dictionary and get clear about actual word definitions, so that we can be more like our President who prefers to know what he is talking about before he speaks.  I have compiled a list of over-used and misunderstood descriptions that need some clarification, in no particular order.

communism

An economic and social system envisioned by the nineteenth-century German scholar Karl Marx. In theory, under communism, all means of production are owned in common, rather than by individuals (see Marxism and Marxism-Leninism). In practice, a single authoritarian party controls both the political and economic systems. In the twentieth century, communism was associated with the economic and political systems of China and the Soviet Union and of the satellites of the Soviet Union. (Compare capitalism and socialism

fascism

1. often Fascism
   1. A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.
   2. A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.
2. Oppressive, dictatorial control.

capitalism

an economic system in which investment in and ownership of the means of production, distribution, and exchange of wealth is made and maintained chiefly by private individuals or corporations, esp. as contrasted to cooperatively or state-owned means of wealth.

democracy

In reading over these definitions, I can certainly see why Michele Bachman has her panties in a twist.  Obama is clearly steering us down the path of a socialist/commie/fascist/dictatorship.  Or was that George W. Bush?  He was after all a centralized authoritarian dictator with a policy of belligerent nationalism (freedom fries, anyone?) and racism (Katrina anyone?).

I think the lesson here is that not one of these systems of politics and economics works perfectly by itself.  Our founding fathers went with majority rule, but added the Bill of Rights for protecting the minority.  Pure capitalism doesn't work if it divides society into haves and have nots, creating a system that rewards a few at the expense of many.  According to actual Socialists, Barack isn't even in the ballpark and he clearly isn't promoting that the government take over everything, otherwise we would have nationalized all the banks by now.

I guess you and that kook Bachman could argue that Obama is a fascist dictator, after all he is very charismatic--but he doesn't wear a military uniform, hasn't had McCain, McConnel or Cantor "disappeared", wants a public-private partnership to deal with our giant mess from our last dictator, and has too many pressers and town halls where he has actually listened to the people he was hired to represent.

If we could really get some across the board equality in our rights and privileges (gay marriage anyone?) in this country we would be a democracy.  Unfortunately, capitalism, Michele's favorite, tends to favor the owner class, the wealthy and gives corporations power that individuals don't have.  As Americans, we do have a common wealth, shared interests and roads and parks, a shared economy, a shared future.  We have a social responsibility to care for the least among us and allow them to have the opportunity to get in on the American Dream. If a corporation or bank's capital interests threaten the social/economic health of our country, they deserve to be controlled by the people.  Sounds a lot like democracy to me. 

  Stumble It!

Shanalysis is written by Shannon Bailey

I am obsessed with the news.  My entire life revolves around recording and watching Keith, Rachel, Jon and Stephen.  I know that the last two are fake news, but for years it was all this liberal progressive socialistic democrat had to cling to--since I don't have guns and loathe church in all forms.  This really presents a problem on the weekends when all 4 of my favs are off and I am subjected to the pundit-crazed bullshit that is Sunday network programming.  Back in the good old days of Clinton, I was also obsessed with those Sunday shows--until they were completely hijacked by the hard right wingnuts.  And so I had to turn off the TV on Sundays and seriously curtail my news habit.  For 8 long, dark years.

Then, on a cold morning in January, a skinny black guy with a weird name announced he was running for President and I was back on the news habit like a junkie rediscovering her love of heroin.  Unfortunately, over those Bush Dark Ages, the news really had become a sound bite with 20 pundits arguing over the snippet across a deep partisan divide.  And never getting their stupid opinions right.  They were/are wrong about everything.  As it turned out though, I was right about most everything.  Mainly because I pay attention to actual news, which is increasingly hard to come by.  Thanks to the Internet and tons of real journalists and investigative bloggers (some in their pajamas), it is possible to get a glimmer of an idea of what is happening out there without some retarded pundit mucking up information and trying to ignore those pesky facts.

During the seemingly never-ending primaries I really started to freak out.  I was all hopped up on yelling at the TV morons on CNN (FOX-lite), idiots Charlie and George at ABC, and occasionally Faux News if I really wanted to punish myself.  Through the Yahoo homepage and their completely watered down news headlines, I actually discovered Mecca.  To say that the Huffington Post saved my life (and the lives of countless others since I was considering getting a gun at that point to deal with a cranky bitch named Hillary and anyone else that got in the way) is an understatement.  It was like I had found a oasis of intellectual news and actual stories about major things that I cared about.  And it had links to other sources of facts and rational thought.  That is how I found the DailyKos.com and Thinkprogress.com and Openleft.com.  And guess what?  The pundits were still babbling on about things they are wrong about on ABC and CNN and Fox, but I didn't have to be stuck with their stupid programs and opinions and bullshit anymore!

At the end of most articles on HuffPo there is a comment thread where people can post a comment and have a conversation with each-other.  Some comment threads are more interesting and informative than the actual articles.  It was in the thread that I found my jewel--some guy on MSNBC had a show called Countdown and his name was Keith and he knew what he was talking about.  And he reported real news on a major network owned by NBC?!?!?!  I went home that night and turned him on.  My husband and I watched dumbfounded--where the hell had we been that we missed this?!?!?  I think one of the very first episodes we watched was Keith's now-infamous "Special Comment" for George W. Bush about him giving up golf for the troops--which was a big fat lie (it was a bad knee) and he lied about the timing--and Keith told him to shut the hell up.  I wept.  Finally, some head on the TV was factually correct and shared the opinion that I did about how terrible the Bush Dark Ages had been!

About the same time, ABC hosted a debate pitting Barack against Hillary.  Those idiots Charlie and George were so bad, not just in the choices of questions, but also their entire banter and approach, that I said that I would never watch ABC news or any off-shoots of the franchise again.  And I haven't.  That included Good Morning America, Nightline, World News, This Week and any other drivel they churn out.  They suck!  The boycott allowed me to have enough time for my new boyfriend Keith and then later, my new girlfriend Rachel. 

So this column is a thank you to MSNBC, the Huffington Post, the Daily Kos, my other nerd boyfriend Nate Silver at Fivethirtyeight (who gets most everything right) and all the bloggers out there in their parents' basements that are keeping up the good fight for the first amendment.  We have never before needed you more.  As newspapers fold, as journalism redefines and reinvents itself, as TV pundits spew misinformation and outright lies disguised as news, and fat ass blowhards like Rush pretend they are informing people when they are really just puffing themselves up--we desperately need a real media using real facts to keep the checks and balances on the other 3 branches of our government.

The 4th branch has really taken a beating, and will most likely continue to have the crap kicked out of it as it too searches for a new identity.  This is good news, though.  The only way to fix what ails us is to destroy that which no longer works and come up with something new.  I guess I should also thank W. for already having done the destroying part--leaving that skinny black guy with a weird name the priceless opportunity that is complete reinvention.

Stumble It! 

Shanalysis is written by Shannon Bailey

Stimpy passed with no help from the Grand Obstructionist Party (with the exception of Snowe, Collins, and Specter).  But that didn't stop a bunch of House GOPers from sending out emails and posting on their respective websites what their constituents were going to receive from Stimpy--you know the "pork" of roads and bridges and schools and jobs.  Like they had something to do with it getting passed.  Their big stance against Stimpy and all things Obama also didn't keep the buddy-hustling GOPers from clamoring around the new President when he came to Congress to sell Stimpy to ask for--wait for it--an autograph.  A fucking autograph!

These people continue to amaze with their two-faced bullshit.  Pretending to be the victors last week, patting themselves on the back for their giant "goose egg" vote (courtesy of their new token of diversity Michael Steele), and revving themselves up with a new video courtesy of their little Newt Gingrich bitch Eric Cantor.  It's put to the music of Aerosmith's Back in the Saddle Again.**  Which is about drinking and screwing which is perfect for the hypocrites of the "family values" party. This after Cantor's last foray into YouTube--his highly offensive slamming of AFSCME with lots of bleeps and racist overtones.

They really believe their own press releases, don't they?  I think Dan Aykroyd and SNL summed it up perfectly with the opening skit this past week depicting Dan as a really perfect Boehner leading the tone-deaf charge of the failed policies and ideals of the GOP.  The skit ended with them in agreement that the next target should be the Obama girls for having pork-laden sleepovers and they really need to be taken down a peg ot two "especially the youngest one!"  Don't even tell me that there isn't a rightwingnut think tank out there working on discrediting those obnoxious 7 and 10-year-olds.  Just who do they think they are anyway?

So little bitch Eric Cantor is going to take over the fight of Newt's to lead the opposition party to a return to victory?  Really?  This guy has all my support--go for it!  Please keep doing everything you think is a brilliant idea to smack down Barack and the Dems.  Please keep bringing up Pelosi's fictitious mouse.  Please keep releasing videos that you think "say it all" for you and your party of NO!  Please keep misinterpreting what "real" Americans think.  Ask Sarah and John "the fundamentals of the economy are strong" McCain about how well it worked for them.  Please.

As a Progressive Socialist Democrat (yes, I said the P-word, the S-word, and the D-word in one sentence), I could only be more thrilled with Stimpy if it were twice the size--with no tax cuts.  I agree with Paul Krugman the Nobel Prize-winning Economist that this Stimpy is the drop in the bucket of what is needed to even start to fix what ails us and what has been neglected.  At this point, the opinions of Cantor and Boner and McIdiot and crew are the last things we should be listening to.  It has been pointed out many times that these are the people and ideas that have been in charge for the past 30 years and what got us into this shit in the first place.  If they had an idea, ANY idea for that matter, other than tax cuts for rich people and deregulation to save their precious "free market" I would be ecstatic.  But they don't.  Period.  

Apparently they can only say "NO--and do you have a pen so that I can get your autograph."

**A fun side note about Saddles, and do you think Aerosmith had this in mind? (How does the GOP constantly get themselves into this stuff?): Dan Savage of the Savage Love column has been holding a contest to define "Saddlebacking" in reference to Rick Warren's mega church of gay-haters.  The winning definition and back story from Wikipedia:

Saddlebacking

Saddlebacking is a neologism coined by Savage for "the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities"^{[10][11][12][13]} The term is in reference to Rick Warren's Saddleback Church, in protest of Warren's support of Proposition 8 in California, and President Obama's invitation to Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration.^[14]

The term can be traced back to a throw-away joke by Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report, in which saddlebacking is referred to as an undefined sex act. A reader of Savage Love wrote in to ask about it, and Savage responded by declaring a contest to determine what it should mean.^[15] Savage combed through thousands of submissions, narrowing them down to seven entries, which were then voted on by his readers.

Even before a winner was picked, the contest was briefly noted in an article in The Economist. ^[16]Saddlebacking.com to popularize it. ^[17] A similar site, SaddlebackingChurch.com, has since sprung up. According to Savage, the fifth entry won by a "gaping margin", so he endorsed it, immediately putting up

There is disagreement on the "accuracy" of the definition, in light of the contention that the most popular sexual activity for Christian teens intent on preserving their technical virginity is oral sex.^[18] Regardless of which alternative is used, the practice of teens having unprotected but non-vaginal sex has been noted in the medical community, particularly as it encourages the spread of STD's.

UPDATE:  2/17/09  According to TPM, Aerosmith's publishers have demanded that the GOP stop using their song and removed it from YouTube.  Guess what?  Little Bitch Eric Cantor didn't get permission from the artists before he stole their hooker song to make a point about how awesome the GOP is for trying to screw us all out of Stimpy...maybe the screwing song was appropriate after all.

Stumble It! 

Shanalysis is written by a very pissed off Shannon Bailey

I just cannot take the Rethugliucan BS talking points anymore.  I simply cannot understand why anyone is negotiating with them, listening to them, or even acknowledging they are standing in the room.  These selfish bastards have pillaged the commonwealth and the treasury of this great country for the last 8 (30 really) years, making themselves and their asshole buddies richer than we can even imagine and the rest of us (the 95% that don't count for shit anymore) scraping for a can of fucking Spam!  The mother fuckers still think that tax cuts are the end-all, be-all of the economy and the ultimate solution to all the world's woes.  Well they are absolutely 100% fucking wrong and they need to shut the hell up!  I just can't take it anymore.  Remember Einstein said that solutions to problems cannot come from the same thinking that created the problems in the first place.  These idiots and their wrong ideas created this fucking mess and now we are going to listen to them about how to fix it?  Seriously?!?!

Non-partisan groups have done the math and come up with some actual facts.  For every dollar used for their precious tax cuts, it generates $1.02 of economic activity.  Infrastructure spending generates around $1.57 for every dollar invested.  Food stamps generate $1.73 per dollar (these stats are courtesy of Rachel Maddow, but I've seen plenty of other studies that are similar and very close to these numbers).

So what do the stupid asshole Rethugs do?  They cut the infrastructure and food stamps.  Why?  Because they hate America.  They cut everything that might actually make a damn bit of difference to me and the 95% of us that their fucking tax cuts won't even touch.  Why are we putting up with this shit?  Why haven't the locks been changed on the negotiating room door?  Why is anyone letting them run around, spewing lies and distortions, and giving them air time to do it?  What the FUCK is going on?

The truth of the matter is that they really do hate 95% of America and they know down deep in their hollow vacant chests that if there is a stimulus that works, they are over as a party forever.  They know that if something the Dems did created 600,000 jobs in Virginia it'll never be red again.  They know that if healthcare reform actually happens and everyone gets what they need and a fair rate, we will never vote red again in any state (except Kansas, but there's something the matter with Kansas anyway).  When fat ass Rash Lardbutt decided to say that he has 4 words for the new administration and Barack in particular--"I hope he fails"--Rush really was telling a dirty little secret about his party.  Nothing good can come from anything Obama or the Dems do in the next 2 years or the Repubs are finished in 2010.

So they pray to a mean, jealous God to smote any attempts to save this country, our jobs, our homes, our bridges, our schools, and our future.  So they can be right.  The whole place better come crashing down so they can get re-elected and somehow remain relevant.  That sounds pretty unpatriotic to me.  Sounds like they are on the side of the terrorists.  Since that was Osama Bin Laden's plan after-all--drive us into bankruptcy and watch us implode.  That is what Rush and his minions are hoping and praying for.

Well, Barack, I hope to god you've learned something about trying to work with people whose entire philosophy is hoping you fail so they can be right.  Fuck them and fuck bipartisan bullshit!  THEY ARE WRONG!!!  When this piece of shit, watered down stimulus to the rich through more tax cuts bill comes to conference you better fix it.  You better get tough with these selfish morons and do what is right for me.  I hired you and so did a lot of other people who don't make enough money to even pay taxes and you work for US.  I don't care what it takes--guilt, shame, blackmail, bribery, having them wacked--get this thing passed with the kind of spending that will stimulate me and the rest of us.  Stop being nice to the bullies--they don't know what the hell they are talking about, they are deliberately trying to sabotage you and the country, and they are on the side of the terrorists.  Fuck them!  And PS--WE FUCKING WON!!!!!

Stumble It!  

Shanalysis is written by Shannon Bailey

Today marks the beginning of what should turn out to be the hardest working Ox in history.  God knows this Ox has got a cart full of crap to haul down a bumpy, treacherous path with everyone watching and waiting with baited breath to see if we can all be saved from the wrath of BushCo.  Frankly, I couldn't be more optimistic!  Our newly inaugurated President Obama is also an Ox, born in 1961 and if there was ever a moment that called for a smooth-talking, hard-working, plow-the-field kind of person, it is now.

A year ago, as we moved into the 2008 Year if the Rat, I made some predictions and put my own name and reputation on the line about how the election process would play out.  I am happy to report that (once again) I was right and there really is something to the notion of the Chinese Zodiac.  Some of my bold predictions:

1) Hillary and Mitt were out--neither would get the nomination due to many factors, but mostly that they are both Fire Pigs and they shot there respective wads during the 2007 Year of the Fire Pig when they both turned 60.  Mitt had the good sense to drop out before his wife killed him for spending all their money.  Hillary, on the other hand, I think was just getting even with Bill for the Monica incident and it cost him over $10 mil to get out of that dog house (this is a fitting comparison as he was born in the year of the Dog!)

2)  While Hillary would never get the nomination (and even if she had, she never would have won--much to the dismay of all the PUMAS out there), I boldly proclaimed in front of many witnesses that she would be a kick-ass Secretary of State.  I am pleased that Barack agreed.  And so, apparently, is the State Department, as witnessed by the roaring standing ovation she received on her first day on the job.  Something tells me they like her more than Condi.

3)  I predicted that the nominations would be Obama and McCain, but McCain would lose--not because he ran the worst campaign in history (beating Hillary for the worst campaign in history by a very narrow margin)--but because John McCain is a Rat and he ran up against an Ox that he owed a cosmic favor to from eons past. 

The story goes that the Buddha asked the Rat to gather all the animals for a meeting.  After the Rat scurried around giving the message out, he found himself running late and asked the Horse to give him a lift.  The Horse was irritated and said an emphatic NO!  The Rat marked it down as a "I'll never forget this" moment and to this day, they hate each other.  (Joe Biden is a Horse of the Mr. Ed can't shut up variety and we all know how well his bid for the top went last year!)  The next animal the Rat came upon was the Ox, who of course obliged and gave the little Rat a ride to the meeting.  When they arrived, the Ox entered the tent first.  The Buddha said that in honor his arrival, he would be the first animal of the Zodiac.  That really pissed the Rat off.  He jumped down from the Ox's back (who by now had wandered over to graze at the buffet) and demanded recognition for all the work he had done to organize the meeting and screamed at the Buddha for being so unfair.  The Buddha and the Ox exchanged a good eyeball roll and conceded.  The Ox said, sure you can be first--but you'll owe me...

And the rest is history.  Thus concludes the real story of how Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America (much to the dismay of Sarah Palin, the crazy Rabbit of the North).  My husband has a theory that McCain ruined his bid on purpose (see Sarah Palin debacle) to be able to hand the title to the Ox because that Rat really knew there was no way he could handle the mess that Bush (another Dog) left all over the rug that Clinton likes so much in the oval office.  There might be merit to this, since the giant Repub loss, McCain seems to have returned to the guy we used to like.

So what does the Ox, the year and our new Pres, have in store for us?  I think we can look to the inaugural address for clues.  It was a somber, sobering, rebuke of all our collective mistakes from the past with a challenge to us all to put aside our childish ways, get responsible for the collective mess, and get to work.  He is not going to save us--we are the ones we've been waiting for.  This is it--if we ever hope to be an important leader on the world stage again--we better buckle down, live within our means, leave the world better than we found it , and make the collective sacrifices that we should have made after 9/11.  Barack the Magic Ox gets his magic from inspiring the best in us to do the work together. 

I've never been so ready, willing and able to take on the mountain of crap in the Ox's cart--how about you?